From Depression to Glow-Up ✨

Living with depression is playing life on hard-mode

It is waking up and immediately having to fight off the urge not to start the day.

It is going through the motions of another meaningless 24 hours, mechanically crossing of to-do’s or, on the flip side, berating yourself for not having the energy to do something.

Conversations are held without emotional investment, engagement in simple pleasures like taking a walk, eating a warm meal and drinking a cup of coffee are done without actually deriving enjoyment from the act, and the stance towards the future is one of indifference.

Depressing is feeling flat, when others feel moved.

Nothing really touches you, apart from some emotional attacks of deep despair and hopelessness that you’ve learned to allow to wash over you in the moment and suppress the memory of later.

You live in the silo of your own mind, safely protected by thick walls of numbness, and experience life as if there is a membrane between you and everything that happens around you.

You might even (self-) medicate with sugar, coffee, anti-depressants or stimulants to just get through the day.

If life had a colour it would be gray. If it had a taste it would be steel.

It seems ‘logical’ to think that it can not and will not get better. However..

..While depression is a very real experience, healing from it is too.

It’s not your fault, and there is hope

Depression slowly crawls in and gradually takes you over. It is not a one-day-to-the-next, sudden experience.

Just like a physical disease with no clear cause..
.. it is not your fault that it came in, it is not your fault that it deepened and it is not your fault that it is still there. Shame and guilt are out of place.

It is heavy energy that ‘your emotional immune system’ created to protect itself. Let’s look at what happened with more self-love and -compassion.

That is a great start.

Because even though depression makes you suffer and has taken away the colour and the melody of your life, it also serves a purpose.

On the one hand it is a shield of protection against the intensity of life, and, on the other hand, it makes something visible that craves to be seen and acknowledged. What that is, varies per person.

And that is where hope for getting out of the depression should lie: that it is not an enemy, but a protector and a teacher.

By working with the depression, unraveling it and processing it, it will teach you valuable lessons about yourself and your life, enrich you and eventually leave you stronger, wiser and more resourceful.

Having been diagnosed 9 years ago with clinical depression myself, and having climbed out of it, it is my belief that depression can be entirely cured if it seen as an energy challenge.

What do I mean by that?

I mean that depression should be seen as energy blockages/ heavy energies that prevent us from feeling positieve emotions, and cause us to feel heavy.

To dissolve the energy blockages and allow feeling again, safety and trust must be cultivated, as well as gratitude for the safety these blockages offered us when created. This is a gradual process.

Dispersing the heavy energies (in the form of thoughts and emotions) can be done by seeing, accepting and feeling them out. If this is done, these energies dissolve and are transmuted into a lighter form. When that happens the heavy thoughts and emotions just seem to melt away, and automatically make way for new, positive energies to come in.

And when that is done, you too can:

✅ Wake up and WANT to start your day;
✅ Feel alive, excited and inspired;
✅ Become a source of positive emotions for yourself and others;
✅ Go to bed feeling fulfilled and accomplished;
✅ Fall in love with (the rollercoaster of) life;
✅ Glow-up all areas of your life, including yourself.

Reframing depression

Bring lightness into your life with the
From Depression to Glow-Up✨ trajectory

The From Depression to Glow-Up trajectory aims at freeing you from the heaviness, lack of enjoyment and bleak outlook on life that depression brings with it.

We will do this by getting to know, acknowledge, befriend and, in this way, dissolve the energy blocks and heavy energies that have formed and nestled into your system and cause the depression.

Automatically, when those are out, you will feel more energized, more present in the here-now, and more focused. Your mood will increase, your curiosity for the future will return and getting out of bed will not feel like climbing Mount Everest anymore.

Because you will become more active and engaged with your activities, joy and confidence will return and you will start ✨feeling light and sunny✨!

The From Depression to Shining trajectory:

✅ Removes the core problem(s) that your depression is causing you;

✅ Replaces your resistance to everything with willingness and openness;

✅ Changes your perspective on life from indifference to care;

✅ Replaces your bleak outlook on the future with curiosity and excitement;

✅ Clears out your mind, so your thoughts don’t scare you anymore;

✅ Clears out emotional residue so you aren’t ‘dampened’ by your suppressed emotions anymore;

✅ Clears our potential guilt, anger and shame you feel with regards to your depression, and replace it with gratitude for this deep learning experience;

✅ Makes you (re-)gain self-respect, -love and confidence;

✅ Supports you in going from reliance on medications, to reliance on yourself;

✅ Grants you a sense of control over yourself and your life again;

✅ Glows-up all areas of your life 🍊☀️🌻🧡

✅ Gives you all the knowledge & tools to rid yourself permanently of your depressive symptoms.

All sessions can take place online, from the comfort of your own space.

What you get

A wonderfully effective, spiritual deep journey into your soul that will take you from Depression to Glowing-Up✨

2-3 months (you choose the duration)


12-15 hours of 1-1 sessions (mix online-offline or all online - your choice):
❤️ “Awakening your energy” 1-1 session;
❤️ “Upgrade your mood” 1-1 session;
❤️ “Self-love, self-respect & self-worth” 1-1 session;
❤️ “Self-leadership” 1-1 session;
❤️ “Vision board for your glow up & letting go of indifference, tiredness and other blocks to getting there” 1-1 session.

And more:
❤️ Exercises to awaken energy in the body;
❤️ Opening up the heart chakra so you can feel positive emotions again;
❤️ Clear information on how to clear out tiredness, desperation, hopelessness and other heavy energies;
❤️ Contact & support in-between sessions;
❤️ Morning and evening meditation for more energy and better mood;
❤️ A true rebirth.

* If you are a business owner the sessions can be deducted as business costs (coaching).
** Please see section below ‘Methods used’ for the techniques that will be applied during the sessions.

What to expect

What curing depression looks like:

  • Waking up and starting your day is not a chore anymore;

  • Feeling excited about what life has in store for you;

  • Looking in the mirror and being happy with what you see (inside and out);

  • Ability to get through the day without (too much) resistance;

  • Feeling more happy, stable, free and confident;

  • Things that used to bother you and disturb your peace now seem silly and unimportant;

  • Feeling empowered, ‘light’, ‘young’ and mature at the same time;

  • Experiencing an increase in vitality, inspiration and motivation;

  • Regaining curiosity and wonder;

  • Creating your life, instead of being at the cause of it.

What curing depression is
not:

  • Never having a bad day/ week again (as long as you haven’t reached the yogic state of enlightenment, (moderate) mood swings are completely normal. You are not a clown, some days you will be less happy than others. And that has benefits too; for example: better concentration.

  • Never having a day/ week again during which you are unproductive and listless (it is normal to not always be on top of your game. Sometimes you need a low-energy period to recuperate and/or integrate whatever happened in the recent past, good or bad);

  • Never facing a challenge again (you are human; challenges are weaved into the web of life, they make you grow and develop).

& Where I can be of special assistance ❤️

Difficulty accessing your emotions?

An inability to feel is quite common for people with depression; you have gone ‘numb’ in a sense. With this trajectory, this is not a problem. I can access and let go of some of the emotions for you. This way the emotions are processed and let go of, just not by you in that moment. This does not prevent that you might feel a bit down the day, or days, after the session. We will, however, aim to restore your feeling abilities, as they are key to getting back in touch with your aliveness.

Your ego gets in the way of receiving healing?

Well that definitely used to be me, so I can relate! You might be judgmental of a healer or think ‘I’m special and nothing works for me’. But this is just resistance to vulnerability that prevents healing.

If you allow me, I can take over your process energetically and remove your negativity and resistance so you feel lighter. This will take 10-30 minutes of you and me ‘boiling’ together in these energies, while I take them away.

The only precondition is: the biggest part of you must want the transformation (there will always be some parts that are scared of change, and that’s okay), regardless of whether you feel capable of transforming or not.

Scared of healing?

It is not unusual that, even though we suffer greatly, a part of us doesn’t actually want to heal. This is because we don’t know yet who we will be on the other side of depression. The unknown feels scary.

Or we might (unconsciously) make up and believe stories about how boring, annoying or not-special the ‘healthy’, lighter and more empowered version of us will be, preventing us from going all-in in order to transform. These are mind tricks that keep us stuck in the hell of depression.

But I PROMISE YOU that your healed version feels better, looks better, lives better & has infinitely more capabilities to produce or achieve something (art, business, career, lifestyle) that you love and are proud of.

Actually doing something with your life makes you way more interesting than being stuck and depressed.

Methods used

In order to facilitate your healing I will use my natural intuitive abilities and draw from my personal experience healing my depression. Apart from these, we will also use:

  • Numbness, ‘checking out’, not wanting to get out of bed, avoidance, and/or seeking continuous distraction originate in too many suppressed emotions, leading to paralysis, inaction, procrastination and inability to experience pleasure/ enjoyment.

    The feelings we are trying to run or disassociate from vary per person. The one runs from fear, the other from deep sadness, another from despair, and someone else from deep shame.

    The more feelings we have stuffed into us, the more numb our body becomes.

    To break this cycle, we will uproot emotions stored in the body and feel them out, so they can dissolve.

    I will feel them with you so we will be going through the same experience. Because there will be two of us processing your stuff, an accelerated and powerful healing will take place.

    If, for whatever reason, you are not capable of feeling a particular emotion at that moment, that emotion will flow through me. This way it will be released, just not by you at that moment.

    This will make you feel (much) lighter, and restore your vitality and feelings of contentment.

  • Just like emotions can make you feel heavy, thoughts can do as well (in the end, it's all energy).

    Flashbacks to the past may distract you from living in the present. As if a part of you is still stuck in the past, reminiscing and romanticising days long gone. Or worse, they might cause you to relive the unprocessed fear, shame, guilt or sadness attached to them.

    Self-deprecating thoughts might also be there, telling you you can't do something and that you are worthless causing you to descend lower and lower.

    The solution is examining your thoughts, detaching from them and emptying out the mind by ‘deleting’ what can be deleted.

    We will achieve this through parts work and stream-of-consciousness writing.

    This will create more space in between your thoughts, allowing you to feel better, be more present and take more action.

  • Energy healing is the practice of working with the subtle energy field of the client in order to clear out energetic imprints.

    An energetic imprint can either be the energetic signature of a certain pattern or the energetic equivalent of the mental-emotional blockages (due to for example trauma, unconsciousness, or insecurities) or physical pains a client has.

    These energetic imprints cause tiredness, low mood and/or distress and prevent you from doing the things you want to do.

    To clear them out, I will either move the dissolve the energy blockage with my concentration and hand movements, or I will attune myself to your energy system, and start processing blockages you have there, by taking them over and letting them move through me, thereby releasing them from your system.

    An emotional release might then take place in you, in me or in the both of us, such as crying or experiencing a wave of irritation or anger.

    By clearing out your energetic imprints, the energy in your field that was previously blocked will start flowing again, leading to an increase in vitality and mood, and less resistance in daily life.

    If you feel distressed I will conclude the energy healing with a (distance) reiki treatment, in order to charge up your system with a high frequency energy. You will leave the session feeling more relaxed, happy and clear-thinking and you will have a good night’s sleep.

  • Being too mental, in the sense that we have too many (useless) thoughts that paralyze us and rob us of pleasure and enjoyment, are signs of depression.

    Too much heavy energy in the body translates to a slower mind and dark and gloomy thoughts.

    To get rid of this, we must work with the body. Techniques that allow us to do this are for example (intuitive trigger point) massage, breathwork, stretching, systemic bodywork, tapping or just focusing on the sensations that arise within us.

    When we work with the body, we awaken the stagnant energy in it with our awareness or touch. The energy is then freed up from suppression and, after being felt by us, can flow again in our system, making us lighter and energized instead of heavier.

    Exercise or any other form of movement are amazing for your health, but aren’t bodywork. They are oftentimes a ‘mind over matter’ activity that do not help us dissolve old emotional residue (except for stretching). The more bodywork we do, the more we awaken our energy, allowing for a sharper, more energized and more active existence.

  • We all have ‘parts’ living within us that can best be described as sub-personalities.

    These ‘sub-personalities’ are created over the course of our lives as a reaction to judgments, compliments, successes, and failures. Each part has its own agenda for you and its own strategy of how to get to its goal, which oftentimes contradicts the agenda and strategies of the other parts.

    What each part also has, is a voice that produces thoughts and emotions in you.

    When you have depression you have certain parts living within you, that are 'dying' to be seen and get your attention. These parts cause heaviness within you, paralysis, sadness, because they want to be acknowledged by you, accepted and loved.

    By taking out these parts one by one, talking with them, understanding their strategy and agenda, feeling out the emotions behind their thoughts and actions, you will process them and let go of the thoughts they produce in your head.

    When they dissolve you will feel lighter, happier and a lot more mental-emotional space will be created in you.

An adaptable outline of the trajectory:

Let go of your emotional resistance towards..

☀️ waking-up (finally feel light, free and inspired);

🤸🏽‍♀️ being a human here on earth with a life to live (so you can start enjoying the experience, instead of hating it or being totally indifferent about it);

💙 working on yourself and your future (so you can finally find meaning and enjoyment).

Upgrading your baseline happiness..

🧐 by finding out what’s making you heavy and letting go of that;

🌪 by ‘deleting’ the debilitating thoughts in your head;

🧹 by clearing dense emotional residue that makes you feel heavy, listless and sad.

Move from an ‘asleep body’ to an energized one..

🤰by processing the emotions behind major breaking points in your life, so your body (where emotions are stored) doesn’t have to go numb to protect you from your suppressed pain;

🕺🏻by engaging in simple, low-effort exercises that bring energy into your body, so you regain consciousness of the fact that you have a body and that its health and energy levels affect your mind and mood as well;

😔 by addressing and processing unpleasant emotions, such as fear, guilt and shame, that make living in your body a ‘rigid’ and heavy experience.

(Re)installing self-love, -worth and respect..

🔎 through investigating and letting go of (among others) insecurities about yourself, your body, your energy levels and your emotions;

👏🏻 through processing and reframing the guilt and shame you are carry with you.

From dependance on meds to self-reliance..

✨ by clearing out your mental-emotional space, your need to numb or stimulate yourself will diminish (since there’s much less ‘to run’ from);

🔎 with your newfound energy and lighter mood you will quit your medications, as you won’t need to compensate anymore for a heavy life experience, heaps of resistance, and old emotional residue blocking you from taking action and/or enjoyment of that action.

Self-leadership

🚀 get in touch with feelings of motivation and excitement again;

❌ process what’s behind a potential lack of self-care;

💗 install new self-care practices to energize body, mind and soul.

Ready to SHINE

👁 visualize your dream life and your most fulfilled version by making a vision board;

🔥 re-ignite the fire within to do something with and for yourself by clearing out all the resistance (taking the form of, for example, tiredness, indifference, fears and doubts) you feel for….

glowing-up all areas of your life AND enjoying doing so! ☀️

“I’m excited to wake you up from the slumber of depression (which is NOT your fault), install a better mood in you and energize you, so you can love and enjoy your life and glow up in all areas.”

Fay ❤️

“My experience at that table felt supernatural”

R.S., 33, screenwriter and director (report of 5 sessions for severe depression and adhd)

From flirting with suicide to self-leadership

I sought help for three years, especially for my ADHD, but I was unable to find good help from any mental health practice or therapist and was constantly put on a waiting list. Several times I stopped my search because of this, but in the meantime I slipped deeper and deeper into a downward spiral and at the end of 2023 I reached a new low. Working, exercising, cooking or washing dishes were activities that I could no longer manage. Every attempt I made to get back on track, led to even more disappointment. For weeks I stayed in bed, wandering aimlessly around the house, and...I binge watched series after series. Suicidal thoughts were common and offered me a sense of peace. Deep down I didn't really want to die, but I felt desperate, extremely desperate and lacking in confidence myself, and with it the hope for an 'okay' future, completely lost.

I saw Fay's offerings on Facebook. Honestly, I couldn't imagine anyone without a psychology study would know what to do with my persistent and difficult problems, but I thought: it might not help, but at least it will not be harmful to try. During our introductory meeting, that feeling of skepticism diminished somewhat. I liked her views on ADHD, they were stimulating and fresh, and the things she said 'resonated' (as she would say) with thoughts I had and issues I was struggling with. During the first online session I was introduced to her treatment method, where feeling and visualizing play an important role. This method forms the basis of the sessions. The intensity of the the first session brought out a lot of pain, and sometimes I was unable to fully surrender to it. It made me anxious and insecure. Fay assured me that this was a normal part of the process and she did her best to give me a sense of security. Still, I was glad the session ended. She also assured me that that was normal.

During our second session I was very tired; the night before I had let myself go to sleep with a bottle of wine and had not slept until the morning. This was possibly due to dealing with a lot of traumatic issues in the first session, which I had released, and I felt a lot of resistance for the second session. I took that resistance and fatigue with me into the session and eventually, after a little mental breakdown from me, we decided together to discontinue the session.

The following days I doubted a lot whether I should continue with the sessions or not, but the alternative was back into the shit, so I decided to go for it. I strained myself to be as fresh and clear as possible with the retake of session which was more about resistance and less about trauma and such. I learned there that all the things that were making my life difficult were parts of me and that I was not "the problem" myself. I literally took parts of myself out of me and gave them “a chair” in space, with a voice. The parts were given space, love, understanding and recognition, which apparently was much needed, because Holy Moly: I felt better and better as the session went on.

Partly because I had to give space to the heaviness by feeling it out completely, after which I felt so much lighter! Something really started to change. Fay also felt the feelings with me, which helped as we were both going through the same experience. From that moment I knew that I no longer had to doubt about whether or not to continue. The contact with Fay now also felt completely familiar and good. I really had the idea that she understood me and all the things that were going on and if she misunderstood something, it was easily put right.

During this session we also drew up a to-do list together with mini-tasks for the next 3 days: I had to clean up my desk and room, pack my gym bag, and prepare some food, compose a to-do list with all the things I needed to do for my projects, all with the webcam on. Fay smoothly guided me through this, making the ever-so-tricky beginning, so to speak. After this, she continued to apply her method of externalizing parts in me until I could answer yes to the question "do you feel like working out?" That with that the session lasted much longer than usual was not an issue for her at all.

Immediately after this session I went to the gym, for the first time in 3 months and with pleasure too, and it was already quite late. I felt good and was amazed that after such a long period of heaviness and lethargy I felt like doing something again and had started to move.

The next day I fell back into old patterns, lying in bed a lot, and so on. But the day after that I went out with confidence and exercised again. I felt good, until a stupid little thing happened with someone at the gym (which, by the way, was no big deal, but still made my new sense of self-confidence collapse like a house of cards).

Fortunately, that same day I had another session with Fay, which at her suggestion we scheduled shortly after the last session. The incident became a useful input for the session, which was all about self-love. A timing that couldn't have been better. In the previous session we took away the heaviness; in this session I charged up, so to speak, which may sound strange, but I really experienced it that way. Also some beautiful/ mysterious stuff happened during the session, but I will keep this review down-to-earth.

After this session it really went uphill, better and better. Occasionally I still had a down day, but I accepted that without slipping further.

The following days I could start with renewed energy and fresh courage, I could handle much more than usual, and I slowly began to function again. Instead of my usual tendency to want to do everything at once (only to get stuck again and get nothing done), I now took small steps.

I also consciously chose not to do too much in a day. It felt as if I was gradually gaining more and more control over my own life, something I may never have really experienced. Moreover, I was getting more and more excited about everything I had to do. The lesser days also felt different than before the sessions, as if they had a certain function. Namely, in my inner dialogue, I noticed that I was searching for solutions in a constructive way, thereby mapping out a route away from the downward spiral.

I was really looking forward to session 4, but this session felt less intense than the previous three. Afterwards, I doubted whether it "worked" or whether my expectations might have been too high. However, one or two mornings later I was washing dishes with music on from my adolescence, and then it happened. I felt a huge jolt of energy flow into my system and suddenly felt incredibly powerful. Overwhelmed with emotion, I began to cry; it was an experience that I could not comprehend and is otherwise difficult to describe, but really confirmed to me that everything I was doing made sense.

The sessions have a kind of continuing effect, I have noticed, similar to a computer program running in the background running various processes.

The last session with Fay was a very different one, at her home, and even though she had already talked about it in quite some detail, I still didn't know exactly what to expect. We began by discussing how I was doing, which was surprisingly delightful to tell, since I normally hated that question because of my bad moods. Then we went over my vision board (my “homework”) after which she went a few more times into certain aspects, as we did in the other sessions. As she gave instructions, I caught something about seeing images, but my mind was distracted because I was worried about my coffee breath (because we were going to work with breathing techniques). Fay picked up my concerns and assured me that I didn't need to worry about that.

Using breathing techniques, she put me into a kind of trance and I did indeed begin to see images. The journey began with the proverbial movie of my life flashing by. Despite the fact that I consider myself a pretty down-to-earth guy, my experience on that table felt supernatural. I learned a lot about, let's say, my origins. Fay not only guided me, but she also solved the problems I carried with me in my energy field and talked to me throughout the sessions channeling various information about me. As you note, I don't want to go into too much detail because it was all very personal. But when, three hours later, I woke up again, I felt reborn. As if I had reset and said goodbye to my old self.

Afterwards, I needed some time to recover and realize all that had just happened. Fortunately she gave me that time. In the follow-up conversation, Fay mentioned a few details that showed that she had picked up things of my "trip," which was a little freaky but at the same time very nice and affirming.

For the rest of that day, I decided to take it easy, which was also necessary to get my feet back on the ground for a while again. The next day I didn't do much either, another relapse day really. But by now I was used to the fact that the day after a session is always a down day. This dip lasted a few days, however, but after that I actually got into an upward spiral (yes, apparently that exists too!).

It has now been ten days since my last session, and I am now living my life nicely. I look back with a very good feeling back on the whole journey I took with Fay in a short time. Much of what Fay discussed has come true, including the fact that the last session can still stir up some things in the following time, which you then have to deal with. But that is precisely why I think it is effective. The sessions enable me to resolve all the sticking points, and sometimes you have to go through the rough stuff to do that. What prevails, however, is wonder and a blissful feeling that I am back in control of my life, that I am functioning again.

Undoubtedly there will still be challenges that will come my way, but on my own I really could never have reached this point. I am very grateful that I met Fay, like a saving angel, at exactly the right time in my life. She sensed everything flawlessly, remained patient where desired and empathized with me. I am aware that I am not the only person who can experience life as a huge struggle, and I sincerely hope that Fay can help many people like me to a more bearable existence. Since each individual is unique, the result will be different for each person.

My advice to anyone who wants to work with Fay: go into the sessions without expectations, be as open as possible and try to go for it completely. I think this approach has really contributed positively to the results.

Fay, thank you so much for this!

Love, R. S